Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Joyful Heart

In my reflection on the past two weeks I have realized that I had been displacing my joy. I wasn't letting myself be joyful. I was letting myself be unhappy, and not at peace. All of this seemed to stem from the fact that I am not physically in the place that I desire to be, and I had to realize that it's not forever. I also had to realize again that I must be in the here and now, striving to be content and at peace with where I am. I can't be wishing for the time that is right before me to go away.
How can my joy be restored? While running the other day I was listening to Father Mike, and he was talking about how as we enter into Lent we must ask God what he want's us to do for Lent. On that run I asked God what he was calling me to and he revealed to me one thing. He wants me to take time each day to reflect on Psalm 51. I know that it's just one little passage from the Bible, but I have full confidence that God will be able to speak to me though this each and every day of Lent.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and put a new and right spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation; Psalm 51:10,12a"

Friday, February 13, 2015

To Let Yourself Be LOVED

This week I realized something, at times I don't ask people to do things for me because I don't feel like I deserve it. I expressed that to my boyfriend Adam and he asked me, "Do you have to deserve it?" That profound truth struck me.
When it comes down to it all of us don't really deserve anything. All that we have and have been give is a free gift from God. He gives because He loves us. That is a hard truth that I have to ponder. I have to be re-convicted of it each and every day and at times I forget but I'm given reminders. I must let myself be loved.
For if I allow myself to be loved I can in return allow myself to love other more fully.

"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Monday, February 9, 2015

Who are you most likely to reveal yourself to?

Who are you most likely to reveal yourself to?
A lot of times in my heart and in my mind I desire to be known by others. I want people to know who I am, what I like to do and everything about me. Even know this is my desire I don't reveal myself to all that many people. I want to be known, but I want to be deeply known. I reveal myself and who I am to those who have taken the time to get to know me and invest in a relationship with me.
I feel if we go around trying to be known by too many people we get worn out and torn down. Disclosing our-self to a lot of people can take a toll on us. I feel there comes a time in our lives where we start to make the choice of who in our lives get to know the true us. This is a time where lifelong friendships are formed. Friendships that will lead us to be a better us. True friendship calls us on to be better people, they look out for us and they also hold us accountable.
A true friend is someone who accepts you. They don't always have to understand you as a person. They might not even understand themselves at times so how are they suppose to understand you!
How can I be a better friend to those whom I care deeply about and desire to know more?
Who are you most likely to reveal yourself to?

"A friend is a friend at all times;"
Proverbs: 17:17a

Friday, February 6, 2015

The Start.

As the first day of the semester starts all I can see is a long wait tell the end of the semester. I sit here in quiet contemplation and wonder why I want this to come to an end so quickly. I think it’s because I’m ready in my own mind to move on to the next step in my life. With the end in sight a whisper in my ear reminds me to be thankful for the time that sister right before my eyes. If I begin now this habit of wishing time away, where will it stop? I’ll be 80 and my whole life will be gone. Lord please help me to be present to the moment at hand. To not run from the hard times that might await me but rather to try and live in the present moment. Always persevering and moving forward. Keeping behind me the past, in front of me what’s to come and with me the here and now. I must not forget to finish the race.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and preserve in running the race that lies before us."
Hebrews 12:1 

                This week I was reflecting on the events in my life that don’t seem to make sense. I think there is a bigger plan that is outside of my control that could explain unexpected events. Sometimes when you know more about something you are then given more responsibility. When you know the source and reason behind a seemingly unfortunate event now you have a higher calling, a call to give of yourself in whatever it is that you are able to help solve the problem.
                My sister had been sick since August. I remember the day we got the call. My parents rushed off to Colorado…I was dazed and confused and sill to this day we have no idea what has happened. Why? She has made it a long way, but still as ways to go. Form days with no sleep, no facial affect to again being able to have conversations. She is still not better and has ways to go but progress has been made and healing has begun. I may never know why this happened, but healing has begun.
"When he entered Capernaum, a centurion approached him and appealed to him, saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully.” He said to him, “I will come and cure him.”8The centurion said in reply, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a person subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me.  And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel* have I found such faith. I say to you, many will come from the east and the west, and will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the banquet in the kingdom of heaven, but the children of the kingdom will be driven out into the outer darkness, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.” And Jesus said to the centurion, “You may go; as you have believed, let it be done for you.” And at that very hour [his] servant was healed."
Matthew 8:5-13

                I met with a girl this week and we talked about the struggles that this life can hold. The struggles and suffering that have shaped the person we are today. This could be seen as good or for bad in our own eyes. Weather these things have made us strong or more vulnerable we have still endured them and will continue to experience them.
                The events that make us stronger we recognize their purpose at times but we don’t always take the time to see how we were able to move forward. We weren’t aware of the healing that we had received. I think that in our lives we all need healing and when we come upon it and accept it into our lives we are lead to joy, a pure form of happiness. Healing can be manifested in many ways.
                How can you find and receive healing in your life?
·         Through writing
·         Through prayer
·         Through music
·         Through relationship with others
·         Through meditation
Allow yourself to receive the healing in your life that you deserve.
"He said to her daughter your faith has saved you, go in peace"
Luke 8:48